I am learning to enjoy my imperfect life. Each imperfect facet of my life adds color, flavor, and inspiration. Learning to let go of the need for perfection has allowed me to see the richness and spontaneity that come from life’s unexpected moments.
For example, on the way to my house for the annual July 4th cookout, my mother ran over something in the street. Later, my niece noticed that mom’s tire was completely flat. My husband and son-in-law jumped to it and fixed it in a jiffy. They were almost as fast as a pit crew in the Indy 500. This unexpected event gave us all the opportunity to marvel at their speed and efficiency.
Also, my sister and brother in law unexpectedly brought over massive fireworks. Awesome, right? Yes, but we live in town, and my overactive imagination could see the neighbors’ houses, or my own, igniting into giant, uncontrollable blazes. Each time my husband and brother in law lit the fuse on one of the huge barrels or boxes, I oohed and aahed, but I cringed inside. My guests were enthralled by the show, so I did my best to keep my fears to myself. I found, though, that my excessive worry was not needed. My husband carefully ensured the safety of everyone and everything, and he had the hose ready to attack any rogue sparks. This experience gave me an opportunity to deepen my trust of my husband and his ability to keep everyone safe.
At one point in my life, these unplanned events would have, in my mind, ruined the holiday gathering. However, I am learning to let go of the rigid and antiseptic world of perfectionism and go with the flow. Those imperfect moments create memories and often new understandings. I will always hold myself to high expectations, but I now understand the importance of freeing myself from the bondage of expecting perfection in everything and everyone. My life is all the richer for it.
There is no sky above-
only billowing clouds in browns, grays, and blacks
from tall belching towers that press my spirit into the ground.
Lost is the blue with white puffy clouds,
the purply/pink/red setting the horizon on fire,
and the endless black dotted with diamonds.
Gone is gazing at the vast expanse,
watching my soul soar free from its binding chains-
I weep.
My own sobs wake me-
free from the grip of a nightmarish vision,
a glance at the window eases my stress.
I bow my head in thankful silence and
move to the porch to rest my eyes on
miles of endless blue.
Join me, won’t you, to gaze at the vast expanse and
watch our souls soar free from their binding chains-
we appreciate.